last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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