this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize