porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
