Please, let me fuck your mom
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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