i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
