Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
