he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize