my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
even my farts smell like vagina
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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