Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
