Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
