if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
