idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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