Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Drake has all the answers
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
