its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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