I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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