So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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