He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize