One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
