Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
