I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
