How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
