is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
