I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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