Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
