Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
