new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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