was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
