Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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