I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
