You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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