My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
