My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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