was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
