Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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