hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
