If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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