i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
