I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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