yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
