I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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