I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
