I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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