Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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