pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize