even my farts smell like vagina
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
