I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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