It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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