I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
