I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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