they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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