He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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