i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i will never coherently bang her
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
