Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
