He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
