I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
