You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
