Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
