im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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