put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
