everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
