I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
