plz talk dirty to me
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
