Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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